i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize