A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
