the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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