Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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