margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
