life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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