Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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