Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
