its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
