why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You need a sexual gate keeper
They have beer where we have blood.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
