so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
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You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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