And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
