Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
