Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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