despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
