will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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