I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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