Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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