Nicole vs. Life
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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