No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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