UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
