Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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