Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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