? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
