I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
