No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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