I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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