Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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