oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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