That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
