Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have post one night stand depression
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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