...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
