Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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