so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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