We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
