my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
