she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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