i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
