somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
