she was so not down for the gang bang
the condom got lost in my hair
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
