I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
