Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
