Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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