the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
