Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
