Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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