I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
