How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
