ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
