The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
