I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
