I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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