Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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