those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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