lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
