I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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