Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
