what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
