STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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