Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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