he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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