drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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