i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
