So gin and wine won't be happening again
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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