O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
